


Nothing's fair in love and war

by smaragdbird



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Banter, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Guilt, Implied Poe/Finn, M/M, Mutual Not-Actually-Unrequited Pining for Spouse, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reunions, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: When the remnants of the Resistance arrive on Bespin, Leia tells Lando where to find his husband.Lando doesn't know how he feels about Luke meanwhile Luke knows he loves Lando but also knows he doesn't deserve him after fifteen years of hiding.
Relationships: Lando Calrissian/Luke Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28
Collections: Just Married Exchange 2020





	Nothing's fair in love and war

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SassySnowperson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassySnowperson/gifts).



Lando was on Bespin when he got the news. Just two days prior he had walked out of a senate hearing in protest when once again they had voted not to take action against the First Order. He always returned to Bespin when he needed a break from politics. It was the place where it had all started for him after all.

And after Luke’s disappearance there had been little left for him except to throw himself into his work.

The news of Hosnian’s destruction arrived in the middle of the night. His aide woke him up with the message that as the highest-ranking surviving government official he was now Chancellor of the Republic.

“What?” Lando asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Repeat that.”

“You are now Chancellor until new elections can be held”, she replied. 

“Fuck.” He needed more sleep before dealing with this. Unfortunately, the First Order apparently had a planetary system destroying weapon so he’d have to make do with caf instead of sleep. “In ten minutes get me the strongest caf we have please and a secure link to General Organa.”

“At once, sir”, she replied and was gone.

Lando swung his feet out of bed. He should get properly dressed for this. 

/

By the time the Falcon jumped out of hyperspace over Bespin nearly everyone on board had fallen asleep. While Leia asked her contact in the city to keep medical aid ready for their injured Rey made her rounds to wake everyone up. She noticed with a smile that Finn and Poe had fallen asleep pretty much curled together with BB8 making some quiet but insistent protesting beeps against Poe being woken up.

“Just long enough to find him a proper bed”, Rey assured BB8 and only shook Poe’s shoulder after she had been given permission. After all she had no desire to get zapped by BB8 like Finn had been on Jakku. That had only been a few days ago she realised suddenly and yet it felt as if it had been a lifetime.

“Rey? What happened?” Poe asked before he even had his eyes open properly. 

“We arrive on Bespin”, she replied, “Time to get up.”

Poe looked like he’d rather go back to sleep on Finn’s shoulder but instead he touched Finn’s cheek. “Finn, buddy, we have to get up.” He was looking at Finn with so much affection that Rey was reminded why she had felt confident in leaving Finn in his care when he had been injured.

Other than Poe, Finn was awake immediately. He glanced from Poe to Rey. “We’re there?”

“We arrived on Bespin, yes. General Organa is waiting for us.”

“Good, I’ll check on Rose first.”

Rey had to hide a smile when she saw the look that passed over Poe’s face when Finn mentioned Rose. Finn had told her about the kiss and also how uninterested he was in Rose, but it seemed he hadn’t mentioned that to Poe yet.

She nudged him in the side, “Let’s go.”

/

“Chancellor Calrissian”, Leia greeted him when he stepped off the ship.

“The most beautiful woman in this galaxy doesn’t need to be formal”, Lando replied. Thirty years down the line it had become a habit to flirt with Leia each time he saw her. Han’s reaction had always managed to get a smile out of Luke. 

Leia gave him a tired smile. 

“I’m sorry about Han.”

“So am I.” 

Lando took Leia’s hand and pressed a kiss to its back. “I promise that neither Grand Admiral Sloane nor anyone else from the First Order is waiting in my dining room for you.”

“That is too specific to be reassuring”, Leia replied but she was smiling and next to her Chewbacca roared in amused agreement. “Rey, this is Lando Calrissian, Senator of Bespin. Lando, this is Rey, Luke’s new student.”

A strange expression passed over Lando’s face before he shook Rey’s hand with a smile that immediately won her over. “You must be extraordinary. I didn’t think Luke wanted to be found, much less that he’d take another student.”

“I’m not giving him the choice anymore”, Leia said, her shoulder’s straightened and her head held high. “The First Order must be stopped and for that I need Luke.”

Leia was the strongest person Lando had ever known. The loss of her home, her son, her work and now her husband, nothing had stopped her. If anyone could bring down a totalitarian organization equipped with planetary destruction weapons a second time around it would be her. “Then you’ll be pleased to hear that the new Chancellor has pledged the complete resources of the Republic to the same cause.”

“You still know how to say what I want to hear”, Leia said with a tired smile.

Lando turned to Rey. “How long did Luke train you?”

“For a day or so.” Before she had walked right into Snoke’s trap thinking she could do for Ben what Luke had done for Darth Vader. But what she had heard from Finn and Poe she wasn’t the only who had made some really stupid mistakes in the last two days.

“That’s about the same amount of training that Luke got back then”, Lando joked or so Rey thought. 

“He’s on Ach-To”, Leia said, handing Lando a holo-pad. “Please go and get him.”

“He was pretty adamant about not leaving the planet”, Rey added while she looked at Lando admiringly. She had grown up with stories about his exploits as much as Han Solo’s. Winning an entire planet at Dejarik was no small feat.

“Don’t worry, I am married to Luke I can handle him”, Lando replied and then he looked at Leia. “In how many pieces do you want him?”

“I just need him alive”, Leia said with a smile. 

“Wait, you married Luke Skywalker?” Rey asked because that story had definitely not made it all the way to Jakku. 

“I am more surprised that you’re still married to him”, Leia added.

Lando returned her smile. “I knew you’d find him one day and that I would need the leverage to guilt him into coming back. Couldn’t do that if I had divorced him in the meantime.” His answer was very glib and Rey thought she could feel that there was more to it. No one stayed married to someone who had disappeared for fifteen years.

“You should fly sooner rather than later”, Leia said and quickly told him what had happened on Crait. 

Lando’s face grew more and more serious with each of her words. “My aide will see that you’re settled in the city. I’ll get my ship.” 

/

At first Luke thought Lando was an apparition of the Force, a spirit to make it easier for him to pass over. Many cultures around the galaxy believed in ghosts one way or another and Luke had seen enough of them in his lifetime to believe in just about anything.

He had collapsed on the cliff’s edge as the sun had set over Ach-To and had been drifting in and out of consciousness ever since. He had no idea if his distraction had allowed Leia and her people to escape and he was too weak to use the Force to find out. What he had done should have killed him but something was holding him back. Or rather someone if he was being honest with himself, which he hadn’t been in years.

“Lando”, Luke whispered when he saw him or thought he did. He wondered if the Force was really so kind to fulfil his last wish and appear as the one person Luke wished he could’ve seen one last time.

“You look worse than the first time we met”, Lando said. He stepped closer and through the haze of exhaustion that made everything blurry and hard to focus on for Luke he noticed that Lando did not look like the last time Luke had seen him. He seemed older, much more like Lando would be now if he was really here.

“I always imagined our reunion differently”, Lando continued, sounding as if he was talking about the weather or something equally trivial. “You look so much like death warmed over that I’d feel guilty for yelling at you.”

“You’re here”, Luke realised because there was no other explanation. If Lando had been a Force apparition to guide him over the threshold he was very bad at it. “You’re really here.”

“Leia sent me to pick you up. She told me what you did”, Lando’s face changed from neutral to serious. “You always said Force projection along such a distance could kill you.”

“It almost did”, Luke replied. He had felt the pull of the Force, had almost been ready to join it but the thought of never seeing Lando again had held him back. 

Lando crouched down next to him and pulled Luke’s arm over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around Luke’s waist. “Get up, old man. We’ve got places to be.”

Even with Lando’s help Luke barely managed to stand and he nearly collapsed again after a few steps but Lando’s grip kept him upright. It was so reminiscent of their first meeting that it would’ve made Luke smile under different circumstances.

“Should’ve taken Chewie with me to carry you”, Lando complained but he didn’t let go. “Or that girl, Rey. Bet she could’ve floated you down those stairs with the Force.”

It was a long way down to where Lando’s glider was. They had to stop several times and Luke was ready to drop dead from exhaustion when they did finally reach it. Still, a part of him liked being this close to Lando again. Fifteen years was a long time to be gone and yet Luke couldn’t help but feel something long forgotten in his chest. He had rarely let himself think about Lando because every time he had, his resolve to stay on Ach-To had shaken.

Lando unceremoniously let him slide down against the hut closest to the glider. “If you’re gone when I come back, I’ll sic Leia on you”, Lando warned before he walked into the glider. It was a sleek, elegant looking ship that probably handled like a dream.

The ship was luxurious on the inside as well and Luke saw Lando’s touch everywhere. It felt like coming home even though he had never been here before. It was the opposite of what returning to the Falcon had felt like.

“Stay here”, Lando said as he unceremoniously dumped Luke into a seat. As if Luke had the energy to go anywhere, although he didn’t think it would be a good idea to point that out to Lando. “I know you told me using the Force is a mental exertion not a physical one but you look like you’re on death’s door so eat this for my sake.”

Lando out a bottle of flavoured water and some energy bars in Luke’s lap, both of them the kind that Luke used to love before he went into exile.

“Lando – “Luke said but Lando ignored him, busying himself to start the ship.

Watching him, Luke took a drink and unwrapped the energy bar. He had always liked to see Lando work, whether it was piloting or politics. There was a natural elegance to everything he did that had drawn Luke in from the start. 

They lifted off and Luke felt excitement course through his veins. Perhaps he had fooled himself all these years but at heart he was more a pilot than a Jedi.

“If you’re thinking of backseat-piloting me, I will lock you in the freight compartment”, Lando warned him without glancing at him.

“This ship has a freight compartment?”

“Luke, my X-Wing had one.”

Luke almost smiled. “You never told me that.”

“Well, I was trying to give a good impression back then.”

“You’re thinking of Han”, Luke said when the silence stretched for too long. 

He only realised how his words must have sounded when Lando responded with a sharp, “What?”

“I’m not a backseat pilot. That’s – that was Han.”

“You know then, that Han is dead?”

“Yes, Rey told me.” Luke waited for Lando to blame him, after all if he had killed Ben back then none of this would’ve happened, but no recriminations followed.

“It’s a few hours until we reach Bespin”, Lando told him. “You look like you need some sleep.”

Luke did but there was something else he wanted to say to Lando. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving me.”

Lando shook his head with a scoffing smile. “Get some sleep, Luke.”

/

Returning to Cloud City was strange after all these years. On Ach-To Luke had lived without any technology, had been constantly surrounded by dirt and mud and had cut himself off from every but the most necessary contacts to the Temple Keepers. 

Cloud City couldn’t be more the opposite of that if it had been deliberate. 

Lando kept as strong, supporting grip on him as they left the ship and to Luke’s relief there was no one waiting for them with the exception of an aide of Lando’s who handed him a holo-pad and then left them again.

The sunlight filtering through the clouds painted the gleaming white walls of the city like it used to, the air was thin and cool and the smell of Tibanna gas followed them through the doors. Everything was familiar but slightly off, the time he had been in exile had changed the city as much as it had changed Lando. Grey hair, the lines on his face, a softness in his body that obscured the sharpness of his mind even more than it used to. All of that was superficial. In the Force Lando felt like he always had: a rogue star, bright and beautiful but not bound to any galaxy, free to make its own way across the universe, led by nothing but its own heart.

Luke knew he shouldn’t be staring but he couldn’t help himself. There had been so many times in exile when he had ached from the loneliness, nights where he had cried from the desperate need to be in Lando’s arms one more time, days where he had wanted nothing more than to go back home and throw himself at Lando’s feet with explanations and begging for forgiveness, hours of meditation where the temptation to reach out in the Force to at least make sure that Lando was okay had choked him. 

Here he was and he had nothing to say.

When Lando opened a door and led him through it, Luke realised that they had arrived at the same suite they had lived in before the massacre and very little seemed to have changed. A few of the knickknacks he had acquired during the war were still scattered around the room like they used to be. 

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“There’s some of that rhyshkate you like in the fridge”, Lando said as he sprawled over the couch with a holo-pad, just like he had always done. 

“I’ll be in the refresher.” 

“Don’t hog all the hot water”, Lando said, like he used to back when they had still fought for the Alliance. In all of the years he had lived on Bespin, hot water had never been a short commodity and yet Lando had always said it. 

The door closed and Luke gripped the sink with both hands, breathing rapidly. He looked old, he realised as he stared at himself in the mirror. The greasy hair, the scraggly beard, frown lines on his face – he looked nothing like the man who had left, and even less like the man Lando had fallen in love with.

Luke shook his head. He had left Lando without a word or an explanation fifteen years ago. This was already more kindness than he deserved. Besides, Lando was a senator, he would’ve lived on Hosnian Prime, perhaps even…

Luke willed himself not to drown in guilt as he imagined Lando’s partner dying there. Lando could’ve died there, it was a miracle he hadn’t. All because of him, because he had been unable to either save or kill Ben and his indecisiveness had doomed them all.

A knock on the door interrupted his spiralling thoughts. “Luke? There are fresh clothes in the wardrobe in the bedroom.”

“Thank you”, Luke managed to say. He felt Lando retreat from the door as much as he heard it and fought the impulse to follow him, to wrap his arms around Lando’s waist and bury his face between Lando’s shoulder blades. 

He had lost that privilege fifteen years ago.

The luxury of a hot water shower, towels softer than a fur of a Nexu, scented soap and crème, heated floor panels – it only added to the guilt Luke was already drowning in. He had done nothing to deserve this. Lando should’ve thrown him into one of the prison cells in the bowls of Cloud City. Leia should’ve left him on Ach-To to die. He had nothing to offer them but the mistakes he had made and shown his cowardice by running from them.

Rey deserved a better teacher than him. Why couldn’t Leia have sent her to Ahsoka or Ezra or taught her herself? Luke could only teach her what not to do.

Luke expected a layer of dust when he entered the bedroom. Instead the creases of the duvet, the cape thrown across the back of a chair, the old cup of caf on the nightstand, told a different story. Even his old clothes were still hanging in the closet as if he had only been gone for a few days instead of more than a decade.

Suddenly Luke felt very tired. Contemplating that Lando actually still lived here, in the ruins of their relationship, was too much. He sat down on the bed, hearing the refresher run again next door. 

Luke didn’t move until Lando came in.

“Where are you going?” Lando asked as Luke headed for the bedroom door. “Just lie down. You look so tired; I’m feeling younger just by looking at you.”

“I can sleep on the couch.”

“I don’t doubt that after having seen your hut”, Lando snorted. “But why would you?”

“Lando – “

“Lie down, Luke”, Lando interrupted him. His tone left no room for arguments. 

The sheets were soft and smelled of Lando and being this close to him was the greatest temptation Luke had ever faced. He wanted to reach out and touch Lando, wanted it so badly he ached with it.

He did nothing of the kind.

Instead he lay in the dark, listened to Lando breathe next to him and wondered why he was doing this. Was it punishment? Showing Luke what he had abandoned, what he couldn’t have anymore? Lando had never been a cruel man but Luke couldn’t fault him if he had turned into one for this.

/

Lando wasn’t sure how he felt about Luke being back, but he also didn’t have time to think about it. The remnants of the Resistance had struggled to Bespin in the Falcon, the Republic was in chaos after the destruction of the Hosnian System and while the First Order seemed to have halted their advance, it was only a matter of time before it resumed.

All in all Lando should’ve been thoroughly distracted from the fact that Luke had returned from exile after fifteen years and was sitting on his couch. His hair was a mess, his clothes didn’t look great either but since they were traditional Jedi robes, Lando was willing the lie the blame elsewhere. He looked exhausted, not just defeated like the rest of the Resistance, but a bone deep exhaustion that was much older than their current situation.

Lando tore his gaze away from Luke and tried to concentrate on the discussion he was having with Leia, Poe, Rey and Chewbacca about how to proceed. Going by the look Leia gave him she wasn’t fooled.

“So if Snoke is dead, do we know who’s leading the First Order now?” Lando asked. 

“Kylo Ren”, Rey answered. “He killed Snoke.” 

There was probably more to that story than what she was telling right now but no one pressed her for any details. 

“He won’t last”, Luke said. They all turned to him. It was the first time he had spoken since this discussion had begone. “He’s too impulsive and the First Order kills its leaders at the first sign of weakness. He won’t last.”

Given what he had done, Lando couldn’t find it in him to feel regret about Kylo Ren’s impending doom. 

“Good”, Poe said with uncompromising harshness. The last time Lando had seen him, he had been eight years old, now he was a man, a man who looked like he was carrying the galaxy on his shoulders. “The longer they waste on in-fighting, the longer we have to re-organise and mount a defence.”

“Do you know who else survive of the political establishment?” Leia asked him.

Lando shook his head. “The attack took everyone by surprise. It’s hard to get an up-link to the holo-net at the moment and the majority of the Fleet was doing manoeuvres around Hosnian Secondo when it happened. The best we can hope for is local defences and perhaps a few independents if we can rally them.”

“Perhaps they’ll take the First Order seriously now.” The bitterness in Poe’s tone was only too understandable. 

“At least blowing up Starkiller Base should’ve put quite a dent in their budget”, Chewbacca said. 

Leia and Poe exchanged a glance. 

“What?” Chewbacca asked.

“From what we’ve seen the First Order has too many resources for how they started and with what”, Poe said. 

“They’ve got new ships, cutting-edge technology”, Leia added, “Some of it is explainable but not the sheer amount of it even accounting for their raid and conquest of the unknown regions.”

“Unless they found the Star Forge”, Luke said.

“The what?” Rey asked at the same time as Poe replied, “It’s a myth.”

“A lot of things are myths. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist”, Chewbacca reminded them.

“The Star Forge is an automated ship building yard fuelled by the Dark Side of the Force”, Leia explained. “It was made before the Old Republic and supposedly destroyed at the end of the Jedi Civil War.”

Rey looked like she had more questions but didn’t ask them. 

“Do we have a way of verifying that?” Poe asked. “The Unknown Regions are huge.”

“I could”, Luke said, glancing around before settling on Rey, “but I need your help. And yours”, he looked at Leia. “And the other Force-User I could feel on Crait.”

“Finn”, Rey said without hesitation.

Lando couldn’t remember which of them had been Finn, but Poe also looked confused. “Wait what? Finn’s Force-sensitive?”

“He is”, Rey answered with a smile.

“Of course he is”, Poe sounded proud and happy at this piece of news.

“The Star Forge is steeped in the Dark Side, concentrated, accumulated over thousands of years”, Luke continued his explanation. “It would be like a black hole in the galaxy but I’m not strong enough to find it alone.”

“You’re not alone anymore”, Lando replied without meaning to, barely stopping himself from reaching out and touching Luke.

Luke stared at him as if he was surprised that Lando had addressed him at all, much less encouraged him and Lando wanted so badly to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him.

He did not. Instead he said, “That sounds like you have a new student to welcome”, and turned away to pour himself a glass of wine.

“Come on, let’s find Finn”, Rey said, grabbing Poe’s hand and dragging him to his feet. 

“I should go with them”, Luke said to no one in particular. “I’ll see you later.”

“All these emotions are terrible”, Lando bemoaned once they had left. “Life was much easier when I didn’t do attachments.”

Leia looked more amused than sympathetic. “When was that again?”

“I must have at some point”, he insisted despite not being too certain about it. Perhaps before he had met L3. Or maybe between her death and becoming Han’s friend, although he had been very attached to her memory back then. And their ship. “More wine?”

“Please.”

/

Finn, who had been sitting by the bacta tank of a young woman named Rose who had saved his life on Crait, had taken the news of his Force-sensitivity well enough. According to Rey he had yielded Luke’s old lightsaber against Kylo Ren, something supposedly impossible without possessing the reflexes of a Jedi. Luke could tell he would make an exceptional Jedi like Rey but different. His compassion and empathy anchored him to the Light Side of the Force, which was even more remarkable because of his past as a stormtrooper.

Right now he was asking Leia and Chewie about the war, the First Order’s version being markedly different compared to what they had lived through.

On his other side, Poe, Rey and Lando were discussing ships with each of them taking opposing stands to each other, bickering good-naturedly about engineering versus versatility versus speed. 

“I didn’t believe this story when my mum told it to me, why should I believe you now?” Poe asked.

“Ask Luke, he was there too”, Lando mentioning his name caught Luke’s attention.

“Sorry?”

“The Allastaire mission, you, me, Shara and Hera, remember?”

“You didn’t really capture the entire planetary shipyard with four people, did you?” Poe asked.

“No”, Luke replied. “It was six people. Hondo and XXX led the workers while the rest of us distracted the garrison. Hera had done something similar before with her crew on a smaller scale.”

“I knew it was real”, Rey grinned.

“No way”, Poe complained. 

“I never understood why you didn’t replace your X-Wing though”, Lando said with a look at Luke. “All these cutting-edge star fighters and you insisted on keeping your old T-76.”

“She was my first ship”, Luke replied. “Same reason you keep the Falcon.”

“Wait, the Falcon is your ship?” Rey asked.

“Of course, whose ship do you think it was?”

“Uhm…Han?”

“I let him borrow it every now and then. My fathers stole this ship when it was freshly built from Corellia. It’s my legacy. I should be glad you took your X-Wing when you disappeared in the middle of the night and not the Falcon.” There was a bitter twist to Lando’s mouth that cut into Luke’s heart. 

“You left without telling him?” Rey asked and it seemed that her opinion of him was still able to go lower than it already had.

“I told no one”, Luke said and didn’t add that he had felt that they were all better off without him. Especially Lando.

“If I had known, I would’ve dragged him back after a year maximum”, Lando told her, and then added with a wink, “The sex, you know.”

“Fifteen years of withdrawal must have been such hardship for you”, Leia sighed from across the table while Rey let out a laugh. 

“Like you wouldn’t believe it”, Lando said and gave Leia a winning smile. “That’s why I left him in one piece. I need him, too”

Luke was pretty sure he forgot how to breathe for a moment because Lando’s words couldn’t mean what he thought they meant. Lando couldn’t have...Luke had been sure that Lando would move on without him. Had counted on it, in fact. 

“As long as you let him fulfil his duties outside of being the Chancellor’s husband, I think we can find a middle ground”, Leia teased Lando. 

Luke suddenly went very still, which Leia noticed of course. “Lando did tell you he’s Chancellor now, right?”

“Chewie did”, Luke answered. “I thought you’d have filed for divorce by now.”

“Never got around to it”, Lando replied flippantly.

“I think I had enough for tonight”, Leia said. “What about you, Chewie?”

Chewbacca stood up as well and escorted her out, followed by Rey, Poe and Finn.

“You didn’t…divorce me?” There was some kind of elated disbelief in Luke’s voice.

“Always knew you’d be back.” It didn’t sound entirely sincere, more as if Lando had hoped so but hadn’t really believed it.

“Lando”, Luke said and then he was kissing him as if his life depended on it.

Perhaps, in that moment it did. 

Luke broke the kiss as he felt the tears come and buried his face in Lando’s chest as he cried out his apologies, his explanations, his love. All the words he had meant to say since he had seen Lando on Ach-To, before he had gone into exile and in every moment in between.

It could never be enough. He had taken fifteen years from them with his cowardice and billions of lives. He did not deserve Lando’s arms around him.

“I am sorry”, he said one more time, wiping the tears from his face.

“Luke”, Lando took a shuddering breath. Seeing the tears on his cheeks was even worse because Luke had caused him so much pain and there was no way he could make up for it and yet, despite all of that, Lando still loved him. “You are so incredibly stupid.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you’ll stay. Promise me and mean it this time.”

“I promise.”


End file.
